Weekend Review

Weekend Ball: Due to an eventful weekend two balls must be awarded:

Amanda Allen’s family threw a lavish engagement party for her and Jay at the Allen’s house Saturday night, complete with caviar and a chocolate fountain. As the night grew late it was clear that Jay’s imbibing was growing to legendary proportions. His speech was slurred, his walk was wobbly, and he was flashing the “thumbs up” sign at every opportunity. His family, especially his sister, were getting a big kick out of this. The number of people at the party dwindled leaving family, myself, Howard, Marshall, and Becca Kilby. Amanda jestured for assistance in the back room where we saw Jay passed out cold in the bathroom. This was unacceptable as he was at his future in-laws house and his family who had flown in for the occasion were a few rooms away. We were instructed by Amanda to whisk him out the back door, out of site of the family, where a car would be waiting to drive him back to his place. So we lifted him up and Marshall and Howard held him as he wobbled outside like a boxer who had just gotten his clock cleaned. It was akin to a quick exit a president makes with the secret service all around. The whole time Jay was doing what can only be described as something between a hiccup and a dry heave. He was then placed in the car with a trash bag (for obvious reasons) where he was driven off. The driver of the car was Becca Kilby, and for taking on this heroic effort she receives one of the game balls of the weekend.

The other game ball has to go to my mother, Paula Schwartz, who in absentia submitted a cheese corn dip in the “Great Dip Off” as the Schwartz Family entry and took top price of “Best Overall”. Honorable mention to Jennifer Caron whose dip started it all and got a strong second place.

Weekend Goat: Huge excitement reigned when during the Sugar Bowl Eddie and Jennifer made a delicious cheese dip. It was sure to be a huge contender and a much talked about dip at the “Great Dip Off”. Unfortunately, the dip was not entered to the shock of many judges.

Quote of the weekend:
This one seemed to be all sown up with Jay avoiding the “walk of shame”, and Becca getting her car ready with the trash bag , Marshall said to Jay- “Jay, you’re one of the good guys, a real champ” and Jay, who we thought was completely incoherent replied in a soft, slurred voice “Thanks Marshall”.

But just 5 minutes later back inside the actual quote of the weekend was said by Jay’s father, who, as we were leaving, said “See you at the wedding in November, Jay should be sobering up right around then.”

THUMBS UP, THUMBS DOWN SEGMENT

THUMS DOWN: Kyla, who turned a cheap Happy Hour into a $100+ tab.

THUMBS UP: Atlanta Thrashers for breaking a 7 game losing streak with a win on Saturday
THUMBS UP: Texas basketball for beating hated Texas A&M

THUMBS DOWN: Jeff for scratching the table
THUMBS UP: Jeff for helping set up for the Dip Off

THUMBS DOWN: Cobb County for not displaying the sign to Old Paper Mill road in a reasonable fashion

THUMBS UP: Amanda and Jay for having a very nice engagement party

THUMBS UP: Siblings! Amanda & Trisha, Marshall & me, Jenny & Nick for taking over “Sibling corner” at the engagement party
THUMBS DOWN: Kevin & John for thinking they were too good to join us in Sibling corner

THUMBS UP: Trisha for sharing in the chocolate fountain experience with me

THUMBS UP: Amanda and family for being good sports about Jay’s drunken state
THUMBS UP: Jay, for his drunken state

THUMBS UP: Ben Curtis for cracking the top 20 at the FBR PGA tournament

THUMBS UP: Seattle Seahawks for winning the coin toss
THUMBS DOWN: Pittsburgh, for letting Seattle get more first downs than them. I don’t like when people screw my friends over.

THUMBS UP: All the contestants and winners of the Dip Off. They were all delicious

THUMBS UP: Nick and Todd for providing humor to the Dip Off with their Fun Dip and Dog Dip

THUMBS DOWN: John Ready for changing Jack on my bed instead of Howard’s
THUMBS DOWN: John Ready, for on the one hand, insulting our house as being “too much like college” then on the other hand insulting our house for having “too much sophisticated stuff on the shelf”. C’mon choose one.

THUMBS UP: Todd for being multi-faceted by bringing beer in garbage bags.

THUMBS UP: Seth Kaplan, for having more outfits than Madonna, including the “only in the underwear” look

THUMBS UP: Karen Denice…just for making it!
THUMBS UP: Nancy…for making it despite an invitation
THUMBS UP: Julie, Kit, John (X2), and Jorge for coming to our party at halftime, thus finishing their night at our party. Everyone knows you always go to the best party of the night last.

THUMBS UP: Michelle for actually trying to discuss some improvements to the house
THUMBS DOWN: For the inevitability that Howard will find some reason not to do Michelle’s suggestions

THUMBS UP: Jenny Park and Nancy for having “healthy” dips
THUMBS UP: Jeff, for thinking everyone is his size and would consume as many wings as him when he decided on the quantity of wings he would purchase for the Dip Off.

THUMBS UP: Hines Ward, my former neighbor in Athens, for winning the Super Bowl MVP

THUMBS DOWN: Howard, for harassing me all weekend for a rent check.

THUMBS UP: The Bus, for retiring in style with a Super Bowl win
THUMBS DOWN: The Bus, for waking me up this morning when it came around to pick up the kids.