Weekend Review

Weekend Ball: Todd. He prompted me to take a disgusting shot, but did help me sit with a table of nice bachelorette girls, unfortunately, the majority of which were married. Also, I am afraid if he didn't get the Weekend Ball I would be out Masters' tickets. And that is just a risk I am not going to take.

Weekend Goat: Jeff, my new roommate, who I (or Howard, the owner of the house) didn't know was going to be our new roommate until 10 PM the night before. Then we had to help him move on Saturday... in the rain. The cherry on top, he sat in his room screwing around while Eddie was out in the truck doing all the heavy lifting.

Quote of the Weekend: Eddie, while smoking in the moving truck, was screaming at Jeff to "Get your ass out here". Meanwhile, Jeff was working to try and get his room in order and came out with sweat pouring down and his head steaming. It was typical Eddie and real funny at the time.


THUMBS UP, THUMBS DOWN SEGMENT

THUMBS UP: Jorge, who went from noticeably absent last weekend to perfect attendance this weekend.

THUMBS DOWN: Jeff and Shane for, just a little over a year after making me move them in the "Ice storm 2005" they made me move them in "Downpour 06".
THUMBS UP: Jeff and Shane for actually moving most of the heavy stuff themselves.
THUMBS DOWN: Eddie for showing up late

THUMBS UP: Jorge for picking good cuisine in Fuego
THUMBS DOWN: Me for eating the entire Tres Leches, a.k.a chocolate cake with cream on the plate
THUMBS UP: Texas Longhorns, for whipping Kansas and taking control of the big 12 in basketball
THUMBS UP: Mack for representing at the Texas Longhorns basketball game.
THUMBS UP: The waitress who administered the shot to me at Fuego. Cheap thrills.

THUMBS UP: Lavazza coffee. It is real popular in Italy and hopefully will become more mainstream here in the United States

THUMBS UP: Apolo Anton Ohno who beat the Koreans again to win the gold in the 500 m speedskating. He is gracious when he loses and humble when he wins unlike....
THUMBS DOWN: Bode Miller who once again disqualified himself and still claims he raced well and could have won. Yeah, and so could I! Good news is...with the Olympics over and him with no medal we hopefully have heard the last of him.

THUMBS UP: Dad for buying a modern music cd...Everclear.

Weekend Review

Weekend Ball: Evan for effectively developing and orchestrating a golf and technology conference with such sponsors as Nike Golf and Callaway. I know he put a lot of work into it, and from all indications it was a huge success. If you want to check out their product use the "iclub" link on the right side of this page.

Weekend Goat: Bode Miller, American skier who has been pompous and arrogant, and, to this point, is medal less. This is only the second time I find myself cheering against an American in the Olympics, the first being the 2002 basketball team.

Quote of the weekend: For this one I am going to go back to Thursday. My company is currently going through a reorganization, which means in a couple of weeks you might be seeing a lot more posts. They announced that on Thursday at 3:45 they would release the new organizational chart. Obviously, everyone in the company decided to open the chart, which was on a website, at the exact same time. This caused pretty much everything on our network to come to a standstill, including our shared drives. My next-cube-over co-worker was working on something at that point in one of the drives, when all of a sudden her documents were gone. She started screaming and flailing her arms. “It’s gone! It’s gone! Oh my God, it’s gone!” Well, just about that point in the office you could have heard a pin drop as everyone was reading through the new chart (and probably thinking she was screaming because her job was not listed). And, as it so happens, the Director of Human Resources came around the corner just as my co-worker was screaming. and immediately started asking if everything was alright. In a tense situation like that; her screaming was absolutely hilarious.

THUMBS UP, THUMBS DOWN SEGMENT

THUMBS UP: Adrienne, for being drunk at happy hour before I even arrived
THUMBS DOWN: Kyla, for getting to happy hour extremely late

THUMBS DOWN: Howard, for driving us up and down Peachtree at the failed Oysterfest
THUMBS UP: Nancy’s pizza for having two locations
THUMBS UP: Bridgetown Grill’s coffee. Bridgetown Grill is a great place with some delicious island food, and apparently really good coffee.
THUMBS DOWN: Jorge, for bailing out all weekend long. Hopefully not representative of the Peruvian people

THUMBS UP: Michelle, for being a good uecker partner
THUMBS DOWN: Howard and Todd harassing me during uecker while I was trying to learn the game causing…
THUMBS DOWN: Me to have to “throw down” which does not set a good example for all the kids out there. Kids, you should only “throw down” if absolutely necessary.

THUMBS DOWN: Texas Longhorns for losing to OSU. UGLY!
THUMBS DOWN: U.S. men and women’s Olympic hockey teams for both losing to Sweden. We’ve got to do better than that.
THUMBS UP: US women’s curling team. They might suck at curling, but they look good doing it.
THUMBS UP: Joey Cheek, American speed skater who showed class, unlike so many winter Olympians this year, announcing he would donate all the proceeds from his gold medal wins to charity.

THUMBS UP: Howard and Todd for making a good low country boil. For a couple of damn Yankees, not too bad.
THUMBS DOWN: Me, for not really helping in the cooking or the cleaning of the low country boil.
THUMBS UP: The Sixth Sense, a really good movie, which caused me not to really help in the cooking or cleaning of the low country boil.

THUMBS DOWN: Julie, I haven’t seen her in a month and a half.

Cheney's got a gun.

"Cheney now says he can't blame the shooting on the guy who got shot. He said we tried that for three days. It didn't work." --Jay Leno

"But here is the sad part -- before the trip Donald Rumsfeld had denied the guy's request for body armor." --David Letterman

"Mr. Whittington is doing fine, but based on this development, we're going to downgrade the condition of this story from 'Incredibly Hilarious' to 'Still funny, but, mmm, now a little sad.'" --Jon Stewart, on the heart attack Harry Whittington suffered

"You can't blame [Cheney]. Bush says you can spy on people without warrants, you can torture people, you can hold people without a trial, so Dick Cheney thinks, 'Oh what the hell, I can shoot a few guys.'" --Jay Leno

"After Whittington had a heart attack, Cheney said, "You big baby. I get those all the time. Walk it off." --Jay Leno

"Cheney's defense is that he was aiming at a quail when he shot the guy. Which means that Cheney now has the worst aim of anyone in the White House since Bill Clinton." --Jay Leno

"But all kidding aside, and in fairness to Dick Cheney, every five years he has to shed innocent blood or he violates his deal with the devil." --Jimmy Kimmel

"When the ambulance got there, out of force of habit they put Cheney on the stretcher. No, the other guy!" --Jay Leno

Weekend Review

Weekend Ball: Despite not feeling 100%, missing the show at the Swallow, and her old age catching up with her Michelle battled through on Saturday night to celebrate her birthday with friends. For making it to the ripe old age of 24, she receives the weekend ball

Weekend Goat: Black Death. Black Death apparently infiltrated Howard this weekend turning the house into a hospital. In lieu of flowers Howard has asked for donations to be made to the “Elliott Schwartz Discretionary Fund”

Quote of the Weekend: While dining at Williamson Brothers’ BBQ I looked under my rib to which Jeff responded “Is it a boy?” This was extremely funny at the time, but probably one of the “you had to be there” situations.

THUMBS UP, THUMBS DOWN SEGMENT:

THUMBS UP: Albania and Bermuda, for having an Olympic team
THUMBS DOWN: Peru, for not having an Olympic team

THUMBS DOWN: Jorge, Julie, John, myself for ditching out on Friday night

THUMBS UP: Todd, for spotting the place where Michael Jackson dangled his baby
THUMBS DOWN: Todd, for posting a picture of a palace on his blog instead of the spot where Michael Jackson dangled his baby.

THUMBS UP: Jorge, Julie, John, Jeff (the 4 Js), and myself for taking shots on Saturday night for Michelle’s birthday while….
THUMBS DOWN: Michelle watched with no shot in hand until…
THUMBS UP: Michelle took the last shot of the night.

THUMBS UP: Fried dill pickles

THUMBS UP: Me, for kicking both Jennifer and Jeff’s butt at air hockey
THUMBS UP: Julie, for kicking my butt at Gallaga
THUMBS UP: John, for kicking everyone’s butt at video bowling

THUMBS UP: Scottish version of “Pride” by U2

THUMBS UP: Jorge, for leaving the pack to go after fresh meat.

THUMBS UP: Kelly Oliver, for sharing her good wishes on my blog
THUMBS DOWN: Me, for not returning Kelly’s call…yet.

THUMBS DOWN: Over hyped, egotistical, and underachieving Bode Miller for not medaling in the downhill
THUMBS UP: Hyped and humble Shaun White for getting the gold.

THUMBS DOWN: Dick Cheney, for becoming the second U.S. Vice President to shoot someone while in office

THUMBS DOWN: Joanna for sacrificing and getting scallops for her cousin

THUMBS UP: Hibachi chef for his replica of a US city, which looked “surprisingly” like the female anatomy

Finland, a true democratic election

Lost in the mix of the elections in Iraq and the Palestinian Territory was another awkard election-- Finland. Finland is a small country of approximately 5 million people located in Europe up there with Norway and Sweden. Recently they re-elected their president, Tarja Halonen. This in itself is a rather dull and uninteresting story in the United States, until you hear who helped her win--Conan O'Brien!

Many people aren't able to stay up late at night to watch Conan O'Brien, who comes on after Jay Leno on NBC. He is truly the funniest of the late night talk show hosts and will be taking over the Tonight Show when Leno retires. But for now he is relegated to the 12:35 time slot.

So, apparently Conan O'Brien is shown in Finland where he has become quite popular. He began receiving mail from Finland, and, in his typical fashion, began making hillarious jokes about it on his show. Then, in an ironic twist, he realized he beared a strong resemblence to the President, Tarja Halonen (see picture). He embraced this, making fake campaign commercials such as comparing her opponent to Stalin and Skeletor (that's right, from He-Man). This has been hysterical, and with his help, she won re-election.

Now Conan is set to travel next week to Finland to meet with the President and receive an award on Feb. 14 at the Telvis Awards in Helsinki for being "the most surprising and entertaining TV personality in Finland." If you get a chance you should tune in, because it is sure to be a funny experience with O'Brien.

I think it is hard sometimes for Americans to comprehend the amount of cultural influence we have over the world; this is just another example. (Also, note the fact that at the opening ceremonies in Torino all they played while athletes came in the stadium was American 80s music.)

Weekend Review

Weekend Ball: Due to an eventful weekend two balls must be awarded:

Amanda Allen’s family threw a lavish engagement party for her and Jay at the Allen’s house Saturday night, complete with caviar and a chocolate fountain. As the night grew late it was clear that Jay’s imbibing was growing to legendary proportions. His speech was slurred, his walk was wobbly, and he was flashing the “thumbs up” sign at every opportunity. His family, especially his sister, were getting a big kick out of this. The number of people at the party dwindled leaving family, myself, Howard, Marshall, and Becca Kilby. Amanda jestured for assistance in the back room where we saw Jay passed out cold in the bathroom. This was unacceptable as he was at his future in-laws house and his family who had flown in for the occasion were a few rooms away. We were instructed by Amanda to whisk him out the back door, out of site of the family, where a car would be waiting to drive him back to his place. So we lifted him up and Marshall and Howard held him as he wobbled outside like a boxer who had just gotten his clock cleaned. It was akin to a quick exit a president makes with the secret service all around. The whole time Jay was doing what can only be described as something between a hiccup and a dry heave. He was then placed in the car with a trash bag (for obvious reasons) where he was driven off. The driver of the car was Becca Kilby, and for taking on this heroic effort she receives one of the game balls of the weekend.

The other game ball has to go to my mother, Paula Schwartz, who in absentia submitted a cheese corn dip in the “Great Dip Off” as the Schwartz Family entry and took top price of “Best Overall”. Honorable mention to Jennifer Caron whose dip started it all and got a strong second place.

Weekend Goat: Huge excitement reigned when during the Sugar Bowl Eddie and Jennifer made a delicious cheese dip. It was sure to be a huge contender and a much talked about dip at the “Great Dip Off”. Unfortunately, the dip was not entered to the shock of many judges.

Quote of the weekend:
This one seemed to be all sown up with Jay avoiding the “walk of shame”, and Becca getting her car ready with the trash bag , Marshall said to Jay- “Jay, you’re one of the good guys, a real champ” and Jay, who we thought was completely incoherent replied in a soft, slurred voice “Thanks Marshall”.

But just 5 minutes later back inside the actual quote of the weekend was said by Jay’s father, who, as we were leaving, said “See you at the wedding in November, Jay should be sobering up right around then.”

THUMBS UP, THUMBS DOWN SEGMENT

THUMS DOWN: Kyla, who turned a cheap Happy Hour into a $100+ tab.

THUMBS UP: Atlanta Thrashers for breaking a 7 game losing streak with a win on Saturday
THUMBS UP: Texas basketball for beating hated Texas A&M

THUMBS DOWN: Jeff for scratching the table
THUMBS UP: Jeff for helping set up for the Dip Off

THUMBS DOWN: Cobb County for not displaying the sign to Old Paper Mill road in a reasonable fashion

THUMBS UP: Amanda and Jay for having a very nice engagement party

THUMBS UP: Siblings! Amanda & Trisha, Marshall & me, Jenny & Nick for taking over “Sibling corner” at the engagement party
THUMBS DOWN: Kevin & John for thinking they were too good to join us in Sibling corner

THUMBS UP: Trisha for sharing in the chocolate fountain experience with me

THUMBS UP: Amanda and family for being good sports about Jay’s drunken state
THUMBS UP: Jay, for his drunken state

THUMBS UP: Ben Curtis for cracking the top 20 at the FBR PGA tournament

THUMBS UP: Seattle Seahawks for winning the coin toss
THUMBS DOWN: Pittsburgh, for letting Seattle get more first downs than them. I don’t like when people screw my friends over.

THUMBS UP: All the contestants and winners of the Dip Off. They were all delicious

THUMBS UP: Nick and Todd for providing humor to the Dip Off with their Fun Dip and Dog Dip

THUMBS DOWN: John Ready for changing Jack on my bed instead of Howard’s
THUMBS DOWN: John Ready, for on the one hand, insulting our house as being “too much like college” then on the other hand insulting our house for having “too much sophisticated stuff on the shelf”. C’mon choose one.

THUMBS UP: Todd for being multi-faceted by bringing beer in garbage bags.

THUMBS UP: Seth Kaplan, for having more outfits than Madonna, including the “only in the underwear” look

THUMBS UP: Karen Denice…just for making it!
THUMBS UP: Nancy…for making it despite an invitation
THUMBS UP: Julie, Kit, John (X2), and Jorge for coming to our party at halftime, thus finishing their night at our party. Everyone knows you always go to the best party of the night last.

THUMBS UP: Michelle for actually trying to discuss some improvements to the house
THUMBS DOWN: For the inevitability that Howard will find some reason not to do Michelle’s suggestions

THUMBS UP: Jenny Park and Nancy for having “healthy” dips
THUMBS UP: Jeff, for thinking everyone is his size and would consume as many wings as him when he decided on the quantity of wings he would purchase for the Dip Off.

THUMBS UP: Hines Ward, my former neighbor in Athens, for winning the Super Bowl MVP

THUMBS DOWN: Howard, for harassing me all weekend for a rent check.

THUMBS UP: The Bus, for retiring in style with a Super Bowl win
THUMBS DOWN: The Bus, for waking me up this morning when it came around to pick up the kids.

United Auto Whiners

As we all know Ford has just announced the termination of thousands of employees. The first feeling upon hearing news like this is sympathy for the families effected in the job cuts. Then we hear the people who say "We need to support American companies and buy American." This is true when all things are equal, but in this case they are not. Ford and GM have been less innovative and had lower quality cars than their foreign competitors. This is what capitalism is all about; if Ford and GM can't give the consumer a good product, the consumer goes elsewhere.

And what about all those poor people losing their jobs? Well, how about this fact...since 1990 with Ford and GM laying off tens of thousands of employees the number of automobile manufacturing jobs in the United States has actually remained the same! Why is that? Well, anyone driving through Alabama, Arkansas, and Mississippi can see foreign car and parts manufacturers popping up all over the place. Foreign companies wishing to sell to the American consumer find it cheaper to have all, or at least some, of their parts manufactured in the US. So, by buying foreign, we are also keeping Americans employeed. But a shift as to where these manufacturing jobs are has occured, they are no longer in Michigan and the midwest, they are now in the southeast. And the reason for this can be summed up in three letters...UAW.

The United Auto Workers Union was founded in 1935 when it was necessary for laborers to have representation by a larger organization. But recently it has served as a noose around the neck of American companies trying to make a profit against foreign competition. The foreign companies don't have to overpay their workers and give them benefits that just don't fit in a capitalist society. Unfortunately, these overpaid wages and benefits have cut into the research dollars and profits of such companies as GM and Ford. The lack of research led to a poor product which only inflamed the decreasing profits further. In the end, the UAW's stronghanded tactics only hurt the ones they are supposed to protect as their worker's get laid off. Meanwhile, in the Southeast, where Unions aren't as strong, struggling small towns are now thriving as foreign companies bring their manufacturing plants to the United States.

I don't blame the workers of GM or Ford themselves. Everybody wants to get as much money paid to them as possible. I hope these people can recover and find work---maybe they just need to drive down I75 for a few miles.